Did I ever tell you guys I lived in China? I was there hanging out and teaching English for almost a year. It was an awesome experience and looking back I wish I could have been a little more mature so that I could have truly enjoyed the adventure. It wasnâ€™t the foreignness or my inability to speak the language, but the voice in my head that said I should finish my degree and do something responsible that ended up pushing me to leave.
I hate that voice. Donâ€™t get me wrong. I am very glad I went to school and got my degree. I think education is important, if that is the right path for you. I hate the voice because I have always had a difficult time just enjoying living in the moment. I am the worst about putting too much pressure on myself (just ask my friends), I am always looking to the next thing and how I can do better. Well, thatâ€™s the constructive way of saying it. In its not-so-constructive form, I am not happy with the successes I have accomplished; I should always be better, â€œoh and remember when things were awesome in the past? That was a fun time. Yesâ€. See that is what is so very, well, dumb. Things were awesome in the past, but I was too busy putting pressure on myself to improve or focusing on what small aspect of things that were not so awesome that I didnâ€™t enjoy the moment. I didnâ€™t enjoy the awesome. It was not until later when I was wishing I had enjoyed it, and spending my time thinking about the past and not enjoying that moment. Itâ€™s a little confusing and it took me a few years to figure it out.
So now I know. I have to consciously enjoy the moment. There are awesome memories behind me and future adventures ahead of me. But whatâ€™s fantastic is this moment, right now.
So take a slow deep breath. Let it out. Take in the moment and all thatâ€™s around you. Life is awesome, and sometimes itâ€™s even awesome-sauce.